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PS3 Attitude

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Uwe Boll can be stopped; only 911,000 to go

If you don't know about Uwe Boll, please allow me educate you for a moment.

A film director, Dr. Boll has taken it upon himself over the years to grab some of our favourite video game franchises and take them, kicking and screaming, into movie theatres (or sometimes, straight to DVD).

The most poignant of his transformations concerns a title that is getting it's next-gen debut soon; Alone in the Dark.

Not even Cristian Slater, who happens to be one of my favourite actors, could save it. Scoring a miserable 2.2/10 on IMDB after 17,674 votes, it truly is a terrible experience. It was one of those days where I wished I didn't have my 'watch it to the end' rule.

Prior to Alone in the Dark, Boll murdered House of the Dead. He has also butchered Bloodrayne (twice), Postal and Dungeon Siege.

He is now in production on Alone in the Dark II, Bloodrayne III and - oh, please tell me it's not true - Far Cry.

There's nothing that wrong with the people he surrounds himself with, but his direction, script meddling and joint editing ruin the party every time. He's apparently very good at schmoozing investors, which explains how he keeps getting to make these films, since his box office takings don't explain the $20m+ production budgets.

A petition has now been set up to stop Dr. Boll from continuing to hack and slash his way through some usually competent cinematography, and Dr. Boll has responded with a challenge.

If the petition gains 1 million signatures [Dr. Evil Voice Mode: OFF] he'll quit.

I signed it today. There's about 911,000 to go.

Please make a difference to the world and stop this man from destroying future hopes that one day, a video game movie will be made that has merit. Hitman nearly managed it, taking $98m worldwide so far plus another $20m in DVD sales. Alone in the Dark, on the other hand, lost it's investors $12m. As Stephen King said yesterday, 'case closed'.

Go sign the Stop Dr. Uwe Boll petition now and save someone, somewhere, their time and/or money. You can make a difference.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Reesimo said...

I've never seen any of his movies, just because of all the negative reviews swirling around them. But I just downloaded Dead or Alive and I plan on watching it soon. If it is as bad as I've read, I'll sign the petition in chicken blood.

08 April 2008 15:31  
Blogger DolphGB said...

Hmmmm... except that DOA was directed by Cory Yuen, not Uwe Boll. It's still pretty bad, although it does have more bikinis than your average Boll-flick.

You should watch Alone in the Dark or House of the Dead to reveal the true horror of Boll!

08 April 2008 16:00  

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