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MAG Monday week 4 – “God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best”

Submitted by on Monday, 1 March 20102 Comments

The year is 2025.  The Third World War has come and gone; Governments have fallen and economies have collapsed. Beneath all this a secret power struggle rages – welcome to the Shadow War.

Three private military companies vie for power, recruiting whoever offers themselves up to the machine.  Each soldier that gets enlisted to the ranks threatens to tip the scales of power.

Operation Secret Squirrel has been a roaring success.  The tales of our PS3 Attitude brothers in arms have spread far and wide.

When we last left DolphGB he was headed towards the regions highest peak, determined to harness the power of flight.  Surveying the killzone below, he made preparations to take off on a one man bombing run.  Unfortunately, humans can’t fly.  Not one to let piffling details such as physics get in the way, DolphGB searched himself for some kind of start button or pull cord.  After a few seconds he found an appendage that surely must double up as a motor start pull cord – and proceeded to give it a hard pull.  DolphGB regained consciousness several hours later with said appendage lying next to him – someone really needs to stop him.

Brodiesan certainly isn’t going to win a medal of honour.  Still suffering the effects of toxic cigar smoke, he has been stumbling around the base he destroyed, seeking out the leader of the pixies.  It turns out pixies were the least of his problems, as he was attacked by a group of kamikaze kittens.  Whoever said kittens were cute is a sneaky liar.  Brodiesan was last seen running towards the armoury screaming about “getting an RPG to lay the smackdown”.  Yeah, this can only go well.

Godhood isn’t working out too well for Folken24.  It started well enough, with several statues being erected in his honour – but then the chief nomad had to go and make it all weird by insisting Folken24 marry his daughter.  However, something about his daughter didn’t quite add up – call it intuition but that adams apple didn’t look right.  Deciding he was better off in the heat of modern warfare, Folken24 took the sensitive and honourable way out – and legged it.

It turns out that clothes are underrated.  After a prolonged bout of heavy rain, Stefhutch20 was looking shrivelled to say the least.  Heading back to base to deliver a full apology he came across the unconscious body of a fellow officer – with what looked like an appendage lying next to him.  After raiding the officer’s pocket he removed the dog tag and I.D of one ‘DolphGB’.  New I.D in hand, he marched towards the nearest town mumbling about “the joy of lighting fires”.

Welcome to MAG Monday week 4.  The game certainly seems to have found favour with a great deal of you, with reports of multiple level 50 plus characters.  With people levelling up so fast, will MAG be needing some DLC sooner than expected?


Faction – Raven

Rank – 16

Loadout –

  • Primary: Hello Kitty umbrella
  • Backup: A cup
  • Gear one: Milk
  • Gear two: A spoon
  • Heavy Gear: A bag filled with the finest Earl Grey
  • Armour: Chocolate biscuits

General thoughts – “This week, I must admit that I couldn’t join my fellow Raven troops. It was the weirdest thing, but an enormous amount of tumultuous precipitation fell on my HQ, stopping me from being able to leave my control terminal for the entire week.

Now that this heavy rain has passed, I expect that I’ll be able to venture back out into the battlefield to assist my troops.

I did, however, get a lot out of the briefings coming from the ultimate leaders at Zipper, who have been spending a lot of time on something called ‘the official US PS Blog’ lately. I do urge our leaders, however, to start encoding their amazing tip sheets – we wouldn’t want them to get into the hands of SVER or Valor, would we?”


Faction – Raven

Rank – 10

Loadout –

  • Primary: Hollis A3 assault rifle with improve reload and accuracy
  • Backup: F57
  • Gear one: Medical kit
  • Gear two: Frag grenade
  • Heavy Gear: Smoke grenade
  • Armour: Reinforced composite

Fun/interesting fact – “This weeks fact is all about incompetence.  Spotting an unsuspecting enemy I crept up thinking “right, I’m going to knife you right in the back”.  What actually happened is I hit the wrong button, ran right past the enemy and stopped right in front of him.  I got shot…in the head.”

General thoughts – “It’s been a tough week, and one with a regrettably small amount of MAG.  On my way home I was hit by some sort of race car, and I fell and landed on my head.

Of course, I reported this to the police – but they simply refused to believe that I was hit by a car being driven by a blue hedgehog, who was being chased by a fox in a plane and a boy dressed as a rooster.

Yeah – tough week, but I’ll be back”


Faction – Raven

Rank – 16

Loadout –

  • Primary: ATAC 2000 with Reflex sight and fore grip
  • Backup: F57
  • Gear one: Medical kit
  • Gear two: Frag grenade
  • Heavy Gear: P-200T grenade launcher
  • Armour: Reinforced composite, and a pretty ribbon

Fun/interesting fact – “I finally got my first ribbon this week… for dying 30 times in one game. Look, I never said I was good, okay?!

It was in a particularly bad game of Domination. We were meant to be attacking, but one of the squads in S.V.E.R. (that seemed to be made up exclusively of members of the same clan) were completely devastating us.

Sure enough, the thirty minutes rolled past and S.V.E.R. ultimately claimed victory. To be honest, the game was such a complete washout I was pleased to just get something out of it, even if it was the ribbon that no-one wants.

Aim for this week: get good, fast!”

General thoughts – “I still haven’t got up the courage to put myself forward for Squad Leader yet. It seems that to win in MAG you have to have good leaders, and I don’t want to subject my Raven team-mates to the countless defeats that are bound to happen when I finally take up the mantle.”

Things aren’t looking good for any of the Team Attitude warriors.  Join us next week for the penultimate progress report.  Dismissed.

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