Behind The Baconing: an interview with DeathSpank
You may know him as a PS3A Hero, a dispenser of justice and a slayer of demons, or even the man who defeated Lord Von Prong and wore the Thongs of Justice, but who is the real DeathSpank?
In this special Behind The Baconing feature, PS3 Attitude interviews the man himself in a bid to find out the answer to that question.
Read on to learn why he wore those thongs, what – if anything – scares him and what he truly thinks of AntiSpank. He also answers the age-old question, which is: what is the point of unsmoked bacon?
DeathSpank is about to face his toughest and most sizzlin’ adventure yet in The Baconing, and there’s a good chance he won’t make it out alive. So consider this interview a defining moment in history.
[PS3 Attitude] Your next adventure sounds like your toughest yet. Are you scared?
[DeathSpank] While typically I laugh in the face of danger, for the first time in my known existence, I actually discover what fear feels like. And I’ve got to say… I don’t much care for it. I hope it passes, like a kidney stone, Ronaldo, or bellbottom jeans.
[PS3A] Why will you wear all six thongs? Is it because you knew it was forbidden, or were you just, erm, curious?
[SP] I wore them because if the Thong of Justice could make me into a superhero, just think of what wearing all the Thongs of Virtue could do for me. But I had no idea what the consequences of my actions would be… though it IS the makings of another heroic DeathSpank adventure.
[PS3A] Be honest. Was it worth it?
[DS] Let’s see. By wearing all six Thongs at the same time, I accidentally created a huge evil version of myself called the AntiSpank, which threatens all of humanity and is trying to destroy the world and everything in it. But, I DID feel pretty good wearing all the Thongs, so yeah… I stand by my decision to wear them all.
[PS3A] In The Baconing, you fight AntiSpank, an evil incarnation of yourself. Does this raise deep-rooted, unpleasant psychological scars?
[DS] Psychological scars? No. Physical scars? Yeah, I’m looking forward to coming out of this with some sweet scars. I’ve heard that scars can be attractive and even character building, so hopefully I’ll have some groovy battle-damage after dealing with the Anti-Spank to show at my next heroic party.
[PS3A] Do you consider AntiSpank a brother, and do you share much in common with him?
[DS] There is no brotherly love between us I can assure you! Let’s just say he is less of a brother to me, and more of an anthises…..antithesus…antith….a pet. A pet as big as a skyscraper that is capable of levelling an entire city in a matter of seconds by shooting lasers and fire from his eyes, trying to use me as his squeaky-toy. They DO say that pets are like their owners… and I guess they’d be right!
[PS3A] The subject of bacon often crops up when discussing your career, but there’s one question that has remained unanswered, which is: what is the point of unsmoked bacon?
[DS] It’s less potent, but still has great power. It’s more of a “gateway” Bacon that leads to more powerful (and expensive) Bacon types. We should all beware the true power of Bacon.
[PS3A] How have you developed as a person over the course of your three adventures?
[DS] I’ve perfected several combat strategies, such as using cover to my advantage, stunning enemies by bashing them with my shield, and the ancient art of Reflectology, which allows me to knock incoming projectiles back at my enemies. They say the best defence is a good offence, and my array of weapons this time around makes me the most offensive hero in the land.
[PS3A] Your voice is peculiar. From where did you get that outrageous accent?
[DS] Accent? I have no accent. I speak fluent ‘Hero”, from the ancient language of “Heroic”. It’s the official language of Spanktopia!
[PS3A] When you were just a small Spank, did you expect to become a hero to us downtrodden folk?
[DS] You betcha. For as long as I can remember, all I wanted to do was be a hero. Though there WAS a brief time when I considered getting into real estate and some other sales positions…but they look down upon salesmen who carry Weapons of Justice with them and look for opportunities to stick them into bad guys. Some people just don’t get it.
[PS3A] How does one become a Vanquisher of Evil?
[DS] There’s no schooling you can take, or degrees that are required. You just have to have it inside of you. I’ve had the good fortune of being a hero all my life. It’s like that Lady sings, “Baby, I was born this way!”
[PS3A] If you were to pick another career, what would it be?
[DS] I couldn’t just pick one, I’d have to pick three! And they’d be the ones I am already familiar with… Judge, Jury, and Executioner. BAM!
[PS3A] Do you have a surname?
[DS] I used to, but not anymore. I was but a child when a band of Orques stole it from me. I swore right then and there that I would not rest until I had my revenge, AND my surname back. For years I searched for these Orques, and when I finally found them, they met swift justice. Sadly, my surname had been too badly damaged to be used anymore, so I buried it on top of a mountain.
[PS3A] What is your favourite Weapon of Justice?
[DS] Choose a favourite Weapon of Justice? That’s impossible. It’s like asking a parent to choose which child they love more from their litter.. only HARDER, because the good looking kid was the only one that didn’t smell so bad. I love all my Weapons of Justice equally, and try to use them all as often as possible… this is the way of DeathSpank.
[PS3A] What’s the best thing about being DeathSpank?
[DS] Everything, really! But if I had to break it down the best thing about being DeathSpank is… not being not DeathSpank. Think about it.
[PS3A] What’s the highlight of your career?
[DS] My biggest highlight is yet to come in the challenge before me, taking on the Anti-Spank. I must travel to new lands never seen before, take on challenges and puzzles never thought out before, and dispense plenty of juicy justice, like never ever EVER before. This epic feat is going to be the most epic of all my epic feats, of which there are many. Epic. Feats.
[PS3A] If Ron Gilbert, your God, was in the room, what would you say to him?
[DS] Sorry, I’m not religious. But if he were here, I’d say “Hey there, Ronny G. Long time no see. Let’s go grab an extra hot mocha with extra coco, and pull up a memory or six.”
[PS3A] What should we look forward to in The Baconing?
[DS] Everything! This is the greatest adventure I’ve ever faced, with loads of new weapons to deal with the hordes of new enemies. If you have never tried being a hero in one of my adventures, then you need to start dispensing justice with The Baconing first!
If you fail, then the whole world, including Spanktopia, and all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science and the AntiSpank. Brace yourselves for your duties, and join me in what will be known as “My finest hour”.
The Baconing is out on the PlayStation Store on 31 August. It’s also one of the featured titles in Sony’s PlayStation Play season, which means you can pre-order the game from today and receive an extra co-op character called Roesha.