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5 sequels that should never have been made

Submitted by on Sunday, 24 June 2012One Comment

Introducing a new weekly feature, in which PS3 Attitude takes an irreverent* look at the world of gaming. Today we’re discussing five sequels that, if we had our way, would never have seen the light of day; although, in a way we’re glad they did, because otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to write this article.

*At least 37% of the following is probably incorrect.

Call of Juarez: The Cartel

Believe it or not, there was a time when Call of Juarez: The Cartel could have been a decent game. Then the promotional film for Dead Island was released, which made hype for that game increase a hundred fold. Developer Techland subsequently pumped all their resources into Dead Island, and left the office cleaner to finish off the latest Call of Juarez; or so we’ve heard.

And it turns out that cleaners do not know how to program video games; if you like dated graphics, generic gameplay, and technical glitches then you’ll love The Cartel, but it should be strictly avoided by anyone who isn’t currently suffering from delirium.

Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem 3D is rightfully regarded as a cult classic. It’s also a relic of the 1990s, when gaming was about misogyny, the objectification of women and shooting ugly aliens in the face. Fifteen years later, the medium has matured immensely and can even be regarded as a legitimate art form.

Unfortunately, developer 3D Realms didn’t get the memo, because they chose to release a game about (you guessed it!) misogyny, the objectification of women and shooting ugly aliens in the face.

The irony is that Duke Nukem Forever sold so well that publisher Take-Two Interactive has all but confirmed a sequel, which means we can probably look forward to yet another game about misogyny, the objectification of women and – well, you get the picture.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2

It was always going to be difficult to create a good Harry Potter game that isn’t set at Hogwarts (or, come to think of it, a good Harry Potter game full stop), which may explain why Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 was so agonisingly painful to play.

However, even a return to Hogwarts, PlayStation Move controls and Professor McGonagall couldn’t save its sequel. To be fair to Part 2, it is marginally better than its predecessor, but considering how terrible Part 1 is, that isn’t really a compliment.

Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One

We’re struggling to hold back the tears as we write this, but it’s still true; All 4 One was a gigantic misstep for the otherwise sublime Ratchet & Clank series. Forcing Ratchet to fight alongside his arch enemy Dr. Nefarious made the game feel like a bad TV spinoff show.

To make matters worse, when playing on your own (which is what most R&C fans would want to do – do you hear us, Insomniac?!) you are still forced to have an A.I. partner… who frequently commits suicide. It was funny at first, but there’s only so many times you can see Clank purposefully jump off a cliff before you want to murder him yourself.

Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition

Street Fighter IV was an excellent game. Super Street Fighter IV was also an excellent game. And you know what? Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition is also an excellent game; even though it’s essentially the same excellent game we’ve been playing since 2009.

It’s safe to say that if Street Fighter IV was a cow, there would be absolutely no danger of it exploding from not being milked; come to think of it, does anyone know if cows do actually explode if they aren’t milked? We’ve always wondered.

Either way, something tells us Capcom still isn’t quite finished with SFIV; we’ve got money on Super Street Fighter IV Turbo HD Remix appearing in Capcom’s 2026 release schedule. You heard it here first!