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5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

Submitted by on Sunday, 15 July 2012One Comment

star ocean myuria tionysus portrait 2 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attireFrom tiny outfits that provide no more protection than dental floss, to massive armour that even Chuck Norris would struggle to walk in, it has to be said that costumes in videogames often look pretty ridiculous. We literally could have picked a selection of games at random for this list and they’d still have been relevant, but these are the five characters we chose in the end (after we picked them at random).

dragon age morrigan portrait 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attireMorrigan from Dragon Age: Origins

Considering that Morrigan is an apostate (illegal mage), you would think she wouldn’t want to draw attention to herself. Well, you would think that, but her chosen attire actually accentuates – ahem – two things in particular, which we can only assume serve to hypnotise templars (mage hunters) into subservience.

To be fair, if that is the case then it clearly works, as Morrigan and her mother Flemeth have managed to live undetected in the Korcari Wilds for years, despite the latter being possibly the most hunted witch in Thedas. Good work, Morrigan!

ps3 attitude line Break 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

 

 

Kratos from God of Wargod war kratos portrait 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

And now one for the ladies (assuming ladies like cold-blooded killers who murdered their own family; yes, Kratos is quite the catch!).

Anyway, onto his armour; or, to put it more accurately, lack of armour. Fair enough he’s the former god of war, but he’s a simple mortal for most of the series, so if it was us we’d want to go into battle wearing everything but the kitchen sink.

As it is, Kratos chooses to take on chimeras, hydras and even the Olympians wearing little more than a skirt, leaving his arms, legs, chest and head almost completely unprotected; rather him than us!

ps3 attitude line Break 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

warhammer 40000 titus portrait 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attireTitus from Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine

Yes, we know we just said we’d wear as much armour as possible if we had to go into battle, but the Space Marines of Warhammer 40K take things to the completely opposite extreme, with armour so ridiculously massive it’s a wonder they can move at all.

It’s strange that, despite their stupidly huge body armour, Titus and his fellow Space Marines do not wear helmets, which has the effect of making their heads look hilariously small in comparison. Presumably they blew the budget on the rest of their armour, and had no money left for anything else.

ps3 attitude line Break 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

Myuria Tionysus from Star Ocean: The Last Hopestar ocean myuria tionysus portrait 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

Picture the scene: a grieving widow is on a mission to exact revenge for the supposed murder of her husband – what do you think she wears?

The chances are you didn’t answer with ‘a bright blue bra, an incredibly short skirt and knee-high boots’; well, unless you’ve played Star Ocean: The Last Hope that is, in which case you’ll already know that’s the exact outfit worn by Myuria Tionysus, after her husband is killed in an attack on their ship.

No black, no veil, no conservatism of any kind; just pure fanservice. You’ve got to love the Japanese!

ps3 attitude line Break 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attire

jak daxter portrait 5 characters that should buy more appropriate attireDaxter from Jak and Daxer

We bet you any money that you weren’t expecting to see Daxter on this list! Jak’s smart-mouthed ottsel sidekick is definitely the odd one out here, because he actually doesn’t need to buy some more appropriate attire; just any attire would do.

This is in fact a long running joke throughout the Jak series, with Daxter complaining about his lack of pants (or trousers to those readers who speak English English) at every opportunity. Unfortunately he could never find any in his size though, and it isn’t until the very end of the third game that his wish is finally granted; we do like a happy ending!