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5 weapons that must be compensating for something

Submitted by on Sunday, 1 July 2012One Comment

It’s that time of the week when PS3 Attitude takes a tongue-in-cheek look at our favourite pastime; gaming! This week, we’re discussing five weapons that are so unfeasibly gigantic that they’re bordering on farcical. Obviously the vast majority of videogames aren’t designed to be realistic, but surely we still need to draw the line somewhere!

The Heavenly Sword from Heavenly Sword

How on earth the slender figure of Nariko manages to lift the Heavenly Sword, we’ll never know. Perhaps it’s lighter than it looks (or maybe it’s a videogame). The sword is infused with a supernatural power that makes Nariko almost unstoppable in combat; great, right? Well, it’s also gradually draining her life force, so no, not really.

At certain stages of the game, the red-haired fighter also gets her hands on a kind of primitive bazooka, which she deftly swings upwards and balances what is essentially a tree trunk on her shoulder. Our advice: do not mess with Nariko.

Soul Calibur from Soulcalibur

Weapon-based fights are the norm in the Soulcalibur series, but surely choosing a sword the size of a house is cheating just a little bit?

Try telling that to Siegfried who, after being freed from the shackles of the cursed sword Soul Edge, eventually finds himself wielding Soul Calibur itself in the fourth entry of the series. The character clearly kept the superhuman strength afforded to him when he was Nightmare though, as that’s surely the only way he’s able to lift, let alone swing, this behemoth of a sword.

This may explain why the Soulcalibur V version of the sword is significantly smaller than its Soulcalibur IV equivalent… or perhaps newbie Patroklos is just weedier than Siegfried.

Fat Man from Fallout

Fat Man was the codename for the atomic bomb detonated over Nagasaki during World War II. It also happens to be the name of a tactical nuclear launcher in the post-apocalyptic Fallout series, and we have a feeling this coincidence wasn’t accidental. Once fired, the mini nuke destroys everything within its blast radius, including the player if you don’t aim high enough.

For the Japanese release of Fallout 3, Bethesda unsurprisingly chose to rename the Fat Man to the less controversial Nuka Launcher. Interestingly, it is still referred to as the Fat Man during dialogue, making the name change really quite pointless.

The Hero’s Sword from 3D Dot Game Heroes

As large as the other weapons listed here are, none of them can compete with the potential size of the hero’s sword in the charming 3D Dot Game Heroes.

Like many other RPGs, you can upgrade your weapon as you level up. What sets this game apart however (and earns it a spot on this list), is that you can increase both the width and length of your sword ad nauseum, until it eventually fills the entire screen!

The feeling of power when you enter a room full of enemies and take them all out with a single press of the X button is truly something to behold. Mwahahaha!!

Chaingun from Bulletstorm

Considering how much he drinks, it’s a wonder how Grayson Hunt manages to even stand up, let alone shoot straight. Bulletstorm is a game full of big weapons, but the biggest of all is the Chaingun, a minigun that only appears at specific points throughout the game.

It is normally found as a mounted weapon, but can be ripped off and carried for as long as Grayson is using it. Due to the weapon’s outrageous recoil, its accuracy is pretty bad, but what it lacks in precision it more than makes up for in sheer power.

The Chaingun is also the only weapon in Bulletstorm with unlimited ammo, so it essentially transforms Grayson into a one-man killing machine… at least until the battery runs out (seriously).